Dojo Co-visioning Update And Invitation
Issue #66: Communication Dojo Newsletter
Dear friends of the Communication Dojo,
Carol here. Justin and I are deeply grateful for your input, creativity, and support. We have heard a lot of voices (and hope to continue hearing more!) We had our first community dialogue on Sept 23 about the vision of the Dojo, and have heard from many through the survey (which is still open to new input). We want to share a summary of what we’ve heard, how we’re making sense of it, and what to expect on Tue (Oct 7) and Fri (Oct 10).
What we’ve heard (so far):
In this section we make some summary statements of things we heard multiple times, and we also include direct quotes which we think warmly capture the complexity of the data. We gently organize them into three categories:
Attractions:
The values we’ve been receiving have been on personal growth, interpersonal skills and self-connection.
“I have come to trust that the feedback I get comes from a point of curiosity over judgment or fear.”
“You’re the only community I know whose offerings are 100% free, and that seems to run well and continuously.”
“The professionalism of many of the participants is a draw for me. With that I mean people who do coaching or teach “EI” and/or are certified to do so.”
The Dojo has really good people.
Dojo represents practice of continued lifetime growth.
“The person I just recommended admires my communication skills and I said: go to the Dojo and learn!”
“I think you are doing a wonderful thing by asking everyone so you’ll then know what is really happening.”
Shadows:
The lack of facilitation can lead to some lack of group safety
We are maybe stuck in some patterns [?]
“There is a dynamic present among several male members of the Dojo that is off-putting. I am one of 3 women participants who stopped attending because of this - I know because I spoke to them about it.”
“What has held me back from showing up more: shyness and a hesitancy to take the time to understand better the “norms” or your groups.”
“There was a looseness of the container that was a bit challenging for me at times.”
“I left as I was longing for a moderator / someone that could support safety in a free form.”
Do newcomers feel welcomed, or like 2nd degree citizens because the “old hands” clearly have history? Do some of us go deep too fast for new people?
If people leave because they feel unseen or hurt or are afraid, will we know?
Online spaces no longer serve me what I need.
Online practices are supplemental to the real thing, they help, but in-person practice needs to be the majority of time spent.
Lack of transparency around Sarah Durlacher’s (former co-gardener) departure.
Lingering incompleteness from when Justin stepped into the co-gardener role.
Directions for change and offerings:
Many value and are happy with the space as it is.
If there are changes that want to be made, they’re happy to support those changes.
Desire for a larger ecosystem with more variety of practice
“How are we impacting the larger world?”
“I want to see more of the system. I want to know how people are thinking and feeling about the Dojo and the practice spaces.”
“Imagining it growing beyond the labor of Carol and Justin hosting. More facilitation and hosting from members.”
Wanting more direction or forward moving leadership from the co-gardeners and/or others in the Dojo. “Lead me! I’ll tell you if I don’t like it.” “People often want to be pulled rather than bring their own creative agency.”
“I would love to have more sessions at times when people working might have a better opportunity to participate.”
“I want to be much better at taking ‘this’ outside of training groups and into ‘mixed company.’”
“I’m interested in practices like T-group, Circling, IFS/Voice Dialogue, I’d be interested in checking out other relational practices that I still don’t know about. I’d also like to do something that is a bit more somatic, with movement and/or voice activation.”
“Fulfilling would look like coconspiratorship on my goals with cocreating opportunities in the practice for conditions that would challenge me, including facilitation.”
Have in-person practices, preferably in nature. (One in-person space may be offered in Seattle)
“What is the ideal mix of people new to the practices vs experienced practitioners?”
How might we navigate conflicts more intentionally and skillfully?
How do we solve/resolve conflicts in the space?
“T-group is an intensive process which always warrants even more time debriefing.”
Is there a place for experienced practitioners to practice with other experienced practitioners?
And finally this unique quote which we found to be exceptionally warm, intimate, and impossible to flatten into a category:
How I might recommend this space to someone - “You might find this valuable - can’t explain why because it’s very personal so try it out if it speaks to you.”
2) How we’re making sense of what we heard:
The process of seeing your input has been enriching. We’re in a deep listening mode, and still digesting everything we’ve heard so far. We heard very specific bright spots around the Dojo and its community. It appears our intended vision of being a place of relational practice is living up to the members. This is a place of practice and development. We’re also hearing there are some processes and dynamics that have led to a lack of perceived safety and containment. There are also some fundamental assumptions on how we include new members that are worth investigating.
Some greater desires we’re hearing are around growth. Growth of leadership in the Dojo (both in co-gardeners and members). Growth of more types of practices at more times of the day. Growth of processes inside the Dojo that assist the navigation of group tension, and processes that invite new people into a sense of belonging. And growth beyond the virtual sphere, into more in-person gatherings.
There are more questions we’re holding, but we’ll save them for later.
Your input has helped Justin and I to see both the meaningful impact and value in the Dojo and growing shadows and blind spots. By making the latter visible, we can intentionally tend to the shadows (both inside ourselves and in the collective). Learning to talk about our shadows is a key step in our inner growth. We sincerely invite honest, continuous feedback about the good, the bad, the ugly (and everything in between) along the way. Feel free to continue putting your input in the survey here (if you haven’t done so).
3) What we’re doing next based on what we know so far:
We want to continue our conversations with you all. We hope sharing what we have so far can further extend our conversations into more meaningful depth. I’d like to invite you all to two sessions this coming week, one on Tue (10/7) and the other on Fri (10/10). Details are listed below.
What to expect:
We will give you an update on a direction we’ve started exploring with James and Ola from Intentional Society. We may join forces to grow the scope of the Dojo. Your feedback at this early stage is highly appreciated.
We can further explore the attractions, shadows, and directions we’ve listed above. We especially love to hear whether they resonate with you or not and what are we missing.
We can continue to build on our 1st co-visioning session, and invite your input (hopes, needs, dreams, and offers) about a specific practice space (T-group, Bohm dialogue, sandbox, circling, etc) and/or the Dojo as a whole.
Upcoming Sessions, Zoom Link, & Survey Link
Same zoom link for all sessions: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/82222075148
Co-visioning session, Tue, Oct 7, 12pm-1:30 Pacific Time
Co-visioning session, Fri, Oct 10, at 10:30am-12pm PT
Here’s the link to the survey: https://forms.gle/W257nkZBqzhpXP7b9
In Gratitude,
Carol (with substantial input from Justin)